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From the Head of School
I do not enjoy shopping — the bright synthetic lights, the too many choices, the lines... I can shop for a short period of time, but soon I get what I refer to as the “shopping flu” (tired, headachy, etc.). What I do like about shopping, other than purchasing something beautiful and new to me, is milling around strangers. I enjoy the niceties expressed to one another — “Excuse me.” “Isn’t this so cute?” etc. I have a similar feeling about brief interactions with cashiers, servers, the delivery and mail persons. Since I was a young child, these passerby connections have been something I look forward to and actually seek. I would explain this fascination as a confirmation that each random stranger is living a life as vivid and complex as my own. What are their worries? Who loves them? Who do they love as much as I love my children, my spouse? I learned this past summer that there is a term for this realization (that everyone you come into contact with has an equally complicated and rich life as you). It is called “sonder.”
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The concept of sonder makes a lot of sense to me; however, I wonder why it is so difficult to apply this to people whom I am triggered by — who expound an idea in direct conflict with my own, whose actions cause me pain (or perceived pain). Somehow it is difficult to offer the same level of graciousness to others when I believe they are a source of my pain.
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How do I move beyond my conflicts, biases, image-making, and acknowledge our shared humanity, our sonder?
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Krishnamurti said, “It is your psyche, and the psyche is the content of its own consciousness. And that consciousness is shared by all human beings, though outwardly you may have a different culture, different environment, different food, different clothes, more affluent, but essentially, deeply, most profoundly, we are the rest of the world, and the world is us.”
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The idea is not that we rid ourselves of biases, which is likely not possible, but for each of us to understand our own thinking. We must understand our own conditioning and how that contributes to conflict, to the suffering of others and ourselves.
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For children to grow aware of, even resistant to conditioning, they must feel safe and understood. They must be able to ask practical and perennial questions alike, engage in rigorous intellectual explorations, and nurture the awareness of being sensitive to the world outside them, as well as the world within. Once we understand our own thinking, we are able to see how that thinking can unconsciously guide our actions. This awareness (realization) that my life is as complex and precious as yours can dissipate our perceived separateness and perhaps serve as the basis for a moment of peace — an acknowledgement that we are the same and to do harm to you, is to do harm to myself.
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This past week, we celebrated Peace Day at school. The United Nations established this observance in 1981, as set forth by a Universal Declaration, which reads: "Everyone has the right to life, liberty, and security of person."
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How do we inquire into what peace looks like in our daily lives? How do we “do” peace? What does peace look like to you?
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Community Service
As part of Oak Grove's community service program, high school students collaborated with several Ventura County agencies, including deputies from the Sheriff's office, Ojai Valley Land Conservancy, Caltrans, the Watershed Protection District, and Ojai Search and Rescue. The students were also accompanied by teachers.
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In a few hours, the former encampment for people experiencing homelessness was cleaned up, leaving only graffiti on the walls of the overpass. It was reported that all the neighbors in need were housed.
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A stark contrast following the clean up:
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Camping at Refugio State Beach
The entire high school, 9th through 12th grade, spent the week camping at Refugio State Beach, about an hour north of Ojai. Camping is an important part of the school's outdoor education program and is an effective way for students and teachers to get acquainted at the beginning of the academic year.
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What is Pastoral Care Time?
"At Oak Grove, we are committed to serving the whole student. The Pastoral Care Program is designed specifically to offer support for students and staff so that each is able to show up intentionally and engage authentically, generating a sense of belonging and community. Once we are present and feeling connected, we are then able to excel in other areas."
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Circling up for reflection
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Our weekly dialogue on Krishnamurti's teachings
On-campus Thursdays and Fridays, and via Zoom on Tuesdays (starting October 19)
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A mask is required when indoors. Please check in at the Front Office.
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Socially Speaking
A recent Instagram post —
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Congrats to our high school cross country team who pushed through the heat!
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See more and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube:
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Inquiring Into Our Inner Movement
October 4–8
Online In Depth Program
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... This inner movement is so immediate that generally, it is an unquestioned reality as it arises, telling us how things are. Is this experience of reality in fact the underlying quality or nature of this movement?
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